I feel old and unattractive. Lately confidence has been trying to take a back seat on this ride called life. Self-doubt is a vicious disease. So, here is what’s going on. In an effort to stay consistent I have been taking many many pictures. ALL have just been of me. Hundreds of pictures that include only me. Yes, vanity. Is that you? Of course, it is. Oh, and here you brought self-doubt with you.
I know that what I am experiencing is all self-provoked. But is it? Can I manage to feel exactly the same by crossing paths with a mirror on a daily basis? Will this self-doubt emerge anyway if I watch TV or read articles with pictures of “attractive” people? Yes.
Yes, it will.
The problem is self-doubt is planted in tiny seeds of inheritance that are given to us at some point in our early life. We all have it. The only difference is the irrigation system we use to water our insecurities from person to person. For some, self-doubt grows faster and stronger than others. It has to be maintained just like a garden. I am better with visuals. Maybe I can best explain this with a visual.
Think of vanity as a garden. I know, vanity isn’t seen as a positive word, but follow along with me. In your garden of vanity there are beautiful flower beds, bright green grass, birds and butterflies – and it’s always the middle of spring. In this well-kept vanity garden everything is known as pretty, beautiful, loving, adored, courageous, passionate, strong and so on. Now, imagine if you lived by those words all the time. It would be great, wouldn’t it? I mean a little vanity garden never hurt anyone.
Unfortunately, that’s not the case for some of us. Some of us allow those self-doubt seeds to grow. They become weeds of self-doubt that can overtake any garden. You know them as guilt, shame, fear, frustration and so on. The vanity garden, or whatever name you choose to give it, must be maintained, cared for, and taken care of always -because somewhere between the feelings of courage and fear, is confidence.
Confidence is what propels everything forward.
It’s when you take a step regardless of the self-doubt.
Self-doubt is the tight rope in everyone’s life. Confidence is getting on that tight rope even when you know you might fall.